


A Consequence of Life

by tragicamente



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragicamente/pseuds/tragicamente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Kagome sees her in modern Tokyo, she is sitting on a park bench. It’s raining. Kagome is cradling her books to her chest, trying to protect a recently written essay as she runs through the rain hoping to escape some glacier drops. Suddenly something tugs at her insides, something long lost and almost forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Consequence of Life

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on LJ, written for lucindathemaid.

_ A Consequence of Life _

 

The first time Kagome sees her in modern Tokyo, she is sitting on a park bench. It’s raining. Kagome is cradling her books to her chest, trying to protect a recently written essay as she runs through the rain hoping to escape some glacier drops. Suddenly something tugs at her insides, something long lost and almost forgotten.

 

_It can’t be._

 

Distracted, Kagome trips, little stones pierce her bare knees and her hands sting, but she’s not paying attention to that. All she can see are the solemn, dark eyes staring straight at her. Features so similar to her own, yet not, are burned into her memory.

 

It takes a moment for her heart to start beating once more. She opens her mouth, not sure what she wants to say but Kikyou stands swiftly – still so graceful – and she is gone.

 

Kagome can’t see her through the sheets of grey and the ink seeps from her essay into the muddied ground.

 

-

 

It’s been years since the jewel was completed, since the well closed, since Kagome’s heart felt like it was ripped from her chest as time carried her away from the past – carried her forward to a future she did not want.

 

Kagome had graduated from high school. She’d started studying Ancient History, even tried dating for a while – all to try to forget.

 

At first she’d spent months and months pouring over books that might give her a clue on how to return, how to find her friends and _Inuyasha_ again. How to gain back the life she’d lost.

 

It took one fateful night when Kagome thought she’d felt the jewel once more. Elated and hysterical, she had run crying to the well, jumped in and sprained her ankle as she’d landed - sharp pain bringing her back to reality, telling her to try and move on.

 

Still, ever since she’s been back in modern Japan she’s felt incomplete. A phantom jewel still hangs around her neck, solid and heavy.

 

-

 

Kagome breathes heavily as she fumbles with her keys. They skitter against the lock before finally pressing in; with a light _click_ she enters her apartment. She drops her books on the counter, thoroughly confused.

 

Was that her? What was she doing here? Why?

 

Feeling drained, Kagome sinks into a chair and stares dumbly at the wall. Maybe she had just imagined it; maybe she had finally cracked the boundary that she’d been leaning on for a while. Maybe she was so desperate for any connection to the past that she’d started hallucinating.

 

Kagome told her brain this, but the miko senses that had lain dormant for so long sang a different tune.

 

-

 

Saturday greets Kagome with a loud, sharp buzz of her doorbell. She stumbles out of bed, drawing her breath in sharply as the cold floor meets her bare feet. The door opens wildly, as Kagome isn’t awake enough yet to use any spatial awareness.

 

Blinking her bleary eyes, Kagome doesn’t believe what appears in front of her.

 

“Kikyou?”

 

“Oh. So it is you.” That is all she ever says about them meeting.

 

She stays rigid in the doorway, fingertips resting lightly on the frame.

 

Kagome’s heart aches; she almost doesn’t want to believe because she’s afraid she’ll be crushed again, afraid the pain will once more tell her to come back to the time she’s living in.

 

Kikyou gives Kagome time to adjust. She looks exactly like she used to, except she’s wearing a long, white dress that falls short of her ankles. She’s still as pale as ever, lips bright pink against her skin.

 

Kagome musters up enough courage to speak.

 

“How are you here?”

 

Kikyou waves the question away. “That is of no importance. I’ll be meeting you tonight. Wait for me here at nine o’clock.”

 

Kagome barely registers Kikyou’s sudden turn and it takes her a second to react. The sound of her door closing kicks her into action and she is running, practically falling down the stairs as she chases her past.

 

The square she walks out on is filled with people and sunlight and noise.

 

Kagome knows Kikyou is in the crowd, _feels_ her among all the people – feels the string that binds them together thrum.

 

There is a flash of something to the left and she reaches out a hand towards–

 

“ _Wait!_ Please!”

 

Only air greets her plea.

 

-

 

Nine o’clock takes forever to arrive; the seconds tick by agonizingly slowly. Kagome sits at her table all day, fingers twitching, foot tapping against the floor and pen skittering across the page. Everything is at once a blur and crystal clear as the hand moves onto the nine and Kagome runs out of her apartment, nearly forgetting to grab a coat on the way out.

 

Kikyou isn’t there. Kagome’s hope deflates and she’s about to cry when she hears her name. Whirling round, Kagome sees Kikyou come through the darkness into the lamplight. Kagome thinks she looks like an angel.

 

-

 

There are so many questions Kagome has wanted to ask for such a long time, she’s been playing scenes of when something like this would happen over and over again – but right now her breath feels caught in her throat.

 

Kikyou just stares at her, seemingly uninterested, waiting for the first move to be made.

 

“What happened?”

 

For a moment Kikyou looks sad, like she doesn’t want to answer the question.

 

“He cried.”

 

Kagome doesn’t even have to ask whom she’s referring to, and she is overwhelmed with a strange, miserable pride.

 

Kagome puts money on the table, paying for her untouched drink.

 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” she asks, knowing all the hope she had stored to meet him again one day is going to be crushed, having known it had been dying for three years now.

 

Kikyou licks her lips. “He died happy, though.”

 

There is a swelling in her heart and Kagome finds that she’s glad, so inexplicably glad and for once after talking and thinking about Inuyasha, Kagome doesn’t cry as she walks home.

 

-

 

Kagome sees Kikyou every day for three months after that.

 

“Why did you come looking for me? Why stay?” Kagome asks as Kikyou is braiding her hair.

 

“I get lonely, sometimes.”

 

Kagome thinks of _Miroku, Sango, Shippou, Inuyasha, friends she lost, people she loved, dark nights of painful longing._ She understands.

 

“Me too.”

 

-

 

Every night Kagome asks, “How?”

 

_How happy, how did it happen, how, how, how, how…_

 

Kikyou doesn’t answer and just looks disappointed.

 

-

 

Kikyou is weaving grass between her fingers. She sits elegantly, unlike Kagome, who has her legs sprawled out in front of her.

 

“Why do you never see anyone else?” Kikyou asks, threading two blades of grass together.

 

Kagome takes a while to answer, and when she does the answer comes out a lot easier than she expected it to.

 

“I don’t really have other people to see. I pushed everyone away. I miss it so much and I’m miserable when I shouldn’t be because I did what I had to do and I’m being selfish because I just want to be-” Kagome breathes, “-happy.”

 

_Complete._

 

Kagome is sick of having to keep all that happened to her a secret; she is sick of having no one to share it with. She is just sick of leading a fragmented existence built by lies and memories.

 

“You’ve helped with that though. I don’t feel so lonely anymore.” Kagome is surprised to hear how much she means it.

 

Kikyou tilts her head to the side and in one swift movement she’s cradled Kagome against her chest.

 

Kagome knows it should be odd being pressed against Kikyou’s breasts, but it’s so right and she feels so connected. There is a light pink shimmer around them as Kikyou continues holding her, healing her.

 

They share a moment in silence, just two girls, one soul and the world. Kikyou is the first one to speak.

 

“It’s all right to miss them, to… want things.”

 

Kikyou’s fingers dig slightly into her skin.

 

Kagome smiles.

 

-

 

“He died in battle, protecting someone’s life. She looked a lot like us.”

 

Kagome’s heart shudders. Kikyou touches her lips softly.

 

“Is that what you wanted to hear?”

 

Kagome doesn’t know what she wanted to hear, but she’s stuck on that word, that ‘us’ that softly tumbled from Kikyou’s mouth.

 

“Did Inuyasha ever talk about me?”

 

Kikyou looks away from her. “Inuyasha and I aren’t one. We’re not halves of each other, we’re not soul bound. I don’t know, Kagome.”

 

She storms out, except she manages to do it so it doesn’t look like she’s storming out, and Kagome is left on the floor listening to her footsteps die away.

 

-

 

After three months, Kikyou disappears; leaving only a small note on the dresser table along with the keys Kagome had given her.

 

It reads:

 

_Not the right time_

 

Kagome makes a note to ask _What? Not the right time for what?_

 

-

 

It’s driving her insane. Her skin feels tight, electrified. It itches and Kagome dreams of snow-white hands. Their cold helps relieve the tension, sometimes.

 

Kagome wakes up covered in sweat, thighs trembling and soul aching.

 

It’s unfair, just unbelievably unfair the way her old life skips into existence once more after so many years of absence, churning up a new wave of nostalgia and hope that she’d spent so long trying to crush.

 

Kagome bristles with anger. She sits upright in bed, ready to get dressed and just do something (try to find _her_ , maybe) but as she gazes around her small bedroom, lit silvery blue by the moonlight - loneliness hits her. It drives into her with such force that all the anger she had felt a moment ago simply fades away.

 

Everything she looks at reminds her of Kikyou. Kagome clutches at her stomach, snakes arms around her waist as if to stop herself from spilling outwards. Silver hair and golden eyes are replaced with the face that is hers but not.

 

Kagome thinks, _Is this what it means to be ready?_

 

She closes her eyes and wishes desperately that Kikyou would just come back.

 

-

 

There is a light knocking on her door and Kagome instantly knows who it is. It feels like she can’t move fast enough; everything turns to slow motion as she swings the door open and sees Kikyou standing there. She’s wearing a white blouse buttoned down and white trousers. Kagome gulps and grins.

 

Kikyou looks at her expectantly.

 

On impulse Kagome slides her hands around Kikyou’s waist and pulls her towards her.

 

“You thought I wasn’t ready. You left because I wasn’t over Inuyasha yet, wasn’t over the old image of you. But I am now, I am!” Kagome’s voice comes out hurried and elated. She breaks the hug reluctantly, steps back to see Kikyou’s face.

 

Kikyou nods, always impassive and for a moment Kagome thinks, insanely, about poking her face to see if it moves. She almost laughs at the idea, but something about Kikyou seems to stop her. It seems like she would disapprove, but Kagome is happy that she’s here.

 

Drunk on this new feeling of happiness, Kagome takes Kikyou’s hands in her own and kisses them.

 

“Thank-you,” she says, though for what she isn’t exactly sure.

 

-

 

Kagome has been dying to know ever since she learned the fateful history of the priestess.

 

Kagome sees her wandering on the dark, dusty paths, sees her eyes open but unseeing, her skin warm but dead.

 

“How did you go on? How did you manage?”

 

Kikyou raises an eyebrow and shrugs noncommittally.

 

“You heal.”

 

-

 

Kikyou has been standing in Kagome’s courtyard for just over an hour, soaking in sunlight and watching Kagome with strange intensity. Kagome is starting to feel awkward and ponders that maybe she should have started thinking this was weird earlier.

 

There are unspoken words in the air hanging between them, pulsating and begging to be called to attention.

 

Kagome is about to speak, but she’s stopped.

 

“I’m leaving.”

 

Kikyou doesn’t look away and Kagome wishes there was some expression on her face. She also wonders why she feels so sad.

 

“Oh.”

 

It’s all Kagome can think of saying.

 

“This evening, I just didn’t know if I wanted to tell you.”

 

Kagome is stunned, but she manages to force a smile onto her face.

 

“That’s great. I hope you have a great time wherever you go.” She’s put too much emphasis on the word great and she knows she sounds horribly fake.

 

Kagome feels sort of betrayed and she doesn’t know why. It’s not like Kikyou owes her anything, it’s not like she’d started to consider her as a friend (or something more). No, nothing like that at all.

 

Kagome is a terrible liar.

 

-

 

They spend the next few hours speaking awkwardly, sidestepping around the issue until the sun sets. The storm that’s been building starts and Kikyou is about to walk away. About to leave Kagome’s life forever and Kagome knows it can’t end like this. It can’t end on a nod good-bye, not after everything they’ve shared, not since they carry parts of each other’s soul.

 

“Kikyou!” she calls out and half-stumbles into her arms. Kagome boldly kisses her cheek, feels her skin is warm beneath the rain.

 

They’re both soaked and they cling to one another.

 

“How will I manage? How can I do it without you?”

 

Kikyou smiles brokenly, sets Kagome back onto her feet.

 

“You’ll heal.”

 

A ghost of an emotion once shared with silver hair flicks across Kikyou’s face and Kagome finds herself slipping. They fall into each other, lips meeting, tongues sliding over one another so that an intense heat builds around them.

 

Delirious Kagome mutters into Kikyou's lips, "You taste like summer, like summer and rain."

 

Kikyou's lips twitch ever so slightly, "so do you."

 

And with that she is gone, leaving as suddenly as she came.

 

The rain beats onto her back, hard and fast, and Kagome laughs in the face of destiny, laughs at the world’s madness and experiences the mending of her soul.


End file.
